


Words and Action Speaks Louder All The Same

by Novirp13



Category: Deadpool (2016), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, BAMF Tony, BAMF Tony Stark, But AU nonetheless, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Hurt/Comfort, JARVIS is ALIVE, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Tony Fucking Stark, Tony Stark-centric, Tony-centric, White Deadpool, Yellow Deadpool, not really - Freeform, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 05:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12647061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novirp13/pseuds/Novirp13
Summary: ...in which Tony talk his enemy out and prevented a war. And one time when it didn't workThen there's Deadpool and Tony screamed screw it! Because he's Tony fucking Stark





	Words and Action Speaks Louder All The Same

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm gonna tell you upfront. I'm an amateur in Marvel universe works. I never even watch Avenger 2. That's why I was actually surprised Wanda was a villain before or that she exists at all. I don't even know Ultron. Besides reading from some fanfiction and you know fanfiction is not canon. Is Loki really was controlled by another alien?
> 
> So, I create this story based on how I remember Avenger 1, vaguely cuz it's been five years after all. And from Avenger 2 fanfiction I read here and there. So I'm sorry for all the mistakes. But this is AU anyway. All are fair in Alternate Universe~
> 
> By the way, English is not my main language and this story is NOT BETA. So, apologize in advanced for grammars mistakes

The first time Tony saw the humanoid looking thingy with claw and jagged body, riding something that also has this jagged thingy as decoration, he thought "Hoooly Shit! Alien is real!" then his brown eyes locked onto the God of Thunder, swinging the ridiculously heavy hammer like it was nothing and he slapped himself before mumbling  _"duuh"._  He asked JARVIS to recorded and took some pictures of those non-earth beings for memento though. So he can brag to his kids in the future if he ever gets married. Preferably with Pepper. Pepper is Goddess.

Then came Loki, Thor brother, wearing clothes as ridiculous as his older—but still looks awesome, like they came out from fantasy comic itself. Tony wants to have some of their wardrobes, maybe they can barter—wielding a glowy stick that apparently can control people's mind so Loki can force them to do his bidding without dirtying his own hand. At that moment, Tony has this sudden feeling of deja vu. In which aunt Peggy dragged his 22 years old ass out from lab and watch a new cartoon called Sailor Moon. Because she wants to indulge her kid self  _and I never watch an anime before and I want to have time with my nephew._

Sorry then he choked on his own saliva for trying to swallow his laughter or Captain star spangles will roast him for not taking things seriously.

Don't blame him. Just imagined the God of Mischief wearing a skirt and big ribbon, with pink as the base color, looking super feminine and manly at the same time.

People said his imagination is vast or he can't produce those incredible techs as easy as breathing. But his mind tends to wander too, thinking something useless like some old cartoon. That was so random though he can't help it.

However he has to admit, Loki is clever. Not in engineering or biology like himself or Brucie but clever in manipulating; a skill that businessman and politicians tend to have to survive in this cruel, cruel world. He knew because that skill is one from his repertoire of many. Loki is narcissistic as hell, have an ego as big as Canada. But that was Tony calling pot kettle black, he can't really complain. Sue him for taking an interest in otherworldy—human? Alien? God?  _Whatever_  he is—when he tried to have him sit down, enticing him with a glass of scotch, maybe have a chat and tried to know him better.

" _Sooooooo_...wanna conquer the world together with me?"

Loki will deny it forever, but Tony swears he staggered because his question caught him off guard so bad, he stumbled on air. Tony has to pat himself on the back for that. God knows it's so difficult to draw a reaction from the stoic man. Tony poured another drink and said, "you want to impress your daddy dearest, right? I can help you with that."

Loki blinked owlishly, jaw gaping like a fish need water to breath. But he poised himself and the scowl was back. Pity, he needs to stop that. Tony is sure he has some fans loving those handsome face, that habit will create tons of wrinkle. He needs to chill, like him, "what a mere human like you know about that?"

"I heard from Point Break you want to show the world how competent you are, right?" Tony asked, "trust me, if you continue going this road, you'll lose. Sure, you may believe whatever you believe, that those brutes out there will never destroy your alien army but have you ever read those superhero comics? That justice will always prevail in the end? Don't know why, but it's like there's a script for this scenario or something."

"Are you trying to negotiate? With  _me_?"

"Yup," Tony popping the 'p' with certainty. And he deserved audiences to clap for him right this moment because he succeeds in drawing another expression from the God, "hear this, hear this. I have a problem with my daddy dearest too. He thought I'm just a nuisance and a menace, hindering his profit because he needs to take care of me. The thought of that wearing him down, he starts drinking and partying and it destroyed his image yadda yadda  _yadda."_

"Then he died, claiming my mother as well" Tony smirked (while Adam apple bobbing up and down in nervousness. Because no matter how casual he tried to sounds, the death of his parents still weighing him down. And that argument. That  _fucking_ argument), "I'm just 17 that time, still minor in some people eyes. Obi—my Godfather take care of the business for three years but it never flourishes that much. And you know what happens when I took over? In just one year, I succeed in turning the multimillion company to multibillion multi-international company."

Loki squinted, "your point?"

"What I'm saying is, brute strength is not the only way to conquer the world. You see those techs out there? Phone, laptop, car, every tech in America like, ever? Those are mine. People adore my tech. People adore _me_. Hey, hey, I'm not trying to be arrogant, not to brag if it's a truth. People may like me as Iron Man, but those up there? The one you may be called General or even King in your realm? I don't know about this before, but they actually prefer me as Tony  _fucking_  Stark rather than the tin man in golden and red colors."

And that was actually surprising. He never realized, not with whenever Tony opened his mouth, they just have this exasperated or irritated mask on. If it was not because Rhodey forced him to come to the meeting early and—intentional. Of course, it's intentional. People may say Tony is the manipulative bastard, but Rhodey is way,  _way_  craftier than him. And that infuriating smirk man—let him eavesdrop on his colleague's discussion ("excellent job as always. I know it was right to believe in Mr. Stark", "Yeah. Whatever media says he's obnoxious as hell, he's really competent", "He's actually very likable", "Yes. It's nice to have someone like him. Stoic and calm is  _so_  mainstream") Tony will never know.

And Tony will deny this, but he was super happy. All this time, thinking he's just a burden, will bring misfortune to other people by nature (his parents, those poor people in Afghanistan,  _Yinsen_ ) and here they actually like him, they actually complimenting him. From his back, because well, like every other politician you can't have a favorite because it's a weakness. He's happy enough, he asked JARVIS to donated some money to their respective company, anonymously.

"Ruling people with fear is efficient" Loki answered.

"Sure it is. But ruling with fear will have some backlash in the future. Don't you have war or something in your realm?" by his silence, Tony was right, "That's what happens when people afraid of you. Rebel will form a group, they magically found some competent people that cornered you, you have to bitterly surrender. See out there? It's happening already."

It is. As Loki looked outside the window, he saw Clint shooting some aliens down, Thor fried them with his lightning, Cap knocking some with his frisbee and Natasha with her punches and kicks, that was awesome. While the Hulk helps them to get to a vantage point faster than a lift.

"While ruling people with adoration will help you immensely. Sure, you'll have hater here and there, but then you'll also have powerful supporter as well, from up there or just ordinary one. Hmm, actually, ordinary one is way powerful than people with the title." They can cause havoc just so the government will hear them, it was never good when they do that, causing collateral damage and all. But it's working. That's why the government tend to ask their opinion first because that's what they do; hearing people and tried to compromise for the good.

"It takes too much time and I don't have the patience for that."

"Like I said it'll worth it in the end. Do you want to control now and have a bad ending or wait now and have a happy ending? Your choice."

Tony knew it reached him because Loki didn't just diminish his idea and actually considering it. Other aliens will just ignore him, saying what a weird human he is for accepting dark lord wannabe with open arm (Loki will then admit that yes, that was his thought  _exactly_ ) but Tony know rough gem in a single glance. No way he's going to refuse this chance.

He was right that Loki is a clever man, he'll do anything to accomplish his goal. Now, he just needs to guide him to the legal way.

"What is your thought exactly."

"Well, you can start by working for me—"

" _I'm not going to be your slave!"_  and there goes the glowy stick.

"No, no of course not! You're _too_  clever to be my employee. What I'm talking about is, you can be my personal assistant. In which I'll bring you whenever we meet with upper echelon, show how competent you are and it'll get their attention. They'll start to ask for your input, and actually give you fund to start your own project and then you'll belong to those crowd too, like me."

"Sounds complicated. And again, take too much time."

"By my estimation, it'll be one year—no, less than that actually because I sponsored you and like I said, people knew me and believe in  _me_ so they'll believe in you too. _Come on_...you spent half of your life to start this invasion, one year or less is not that long. And don't bother trying to brainwash me. I mean, I supported you wholeheartedly it'll not make that much different. And I'm not trying to fool you either. As I said, you're too clever for that."

"Show your daddy dearest you can rule the world better than your brother. He may have strength, but it will take him so far before he has his falling out." Tony offered him the glass and grin, "so, deal?"

.

The aliens just suddenly stop, before they fly to the portal and it closed on itself. The Avenger just stood there, confused by how anticlimactic the fight end.

.

As they came back to the tower, they were met with a sight of Tony and Loki talking; more like, Tony laughing boisterously and Loki nodding off because he drinks too much. Never knew God could get drunk. Or maybe he was just asleep because Tony keeps talking nonstop and it became a background noise after a while, he decided to rest after mission not well done.

"Oh, hi everyone! Meet my  _new_  assistant, Loki!"

.

When the Avenger tried to capture Loki, Tony intercepted and said, "You can't just take away my assistant! Pepper will  _have_ my head!". When Thor tried to persuade Loki to go back home, Loki smirked and said, "Nah. Tell Odin he can suck it up because Earth will become mine soon". When SHIELD tried to lock Loki down with force, Loki changed his whole looks with magic, disguising himself as another employee of Stark Industries and Tony tried to buy him some time by being super annoying, Fury was furious (pardon the pun)

All in all, the Avenger tried to ignore the enemy-not-enemy presence while he and Tony run over everything businessman and politician need to know—such as stock, public opinion, how to sway disadvantageous situations to their liking, etc etc—and live their life as normal as a bunch of Superhero could get. Thor sulking in the corner because Loki kept ignoring him. And Tony cackling like a maniac because  _damn_ , he caught a big fish. No matter how not human Loki is.

.

Besides ruined building and billion of money to repair the damages, they were lucky no one died. Aside from countless of light-injured people, the only serious condition someone could unfortunately get is a sprained ankle. It was a right call to inform Pepper to evacuate people from the main area of attack as soon as Thor came to the earth.

 _See?_  That's why Pepper is a goddess.

.

Oh, and he really did it. People now knew Loki (using a false name or SHIELD will hunt him down) as another charming entrepreneur specializes in engineering like Tony. In which his company almost rivaled him within nine months.

Tony is not jealous,  _goddammit._  And he's not pouting, thank you very much!

.

People have this vote of which one is the most charming businessman and entrepreneur; Tony with his playboy mask and Loki with his gentleman mask. It was a draw.

.

"By the way, I'm just an opening. There is this big, bad alien coming on his way to destroy the earth."

Tony spit his drink.

_"Tell me that sooner, will you?"_

And Loki, the insufferable prick, just laughed.

.

.

Tony should've known it always a bad idea toying with alien tech, Loki and his glowy stick proved that. It was always a bad idea to tried something new, and it always a bad idea when you tried to create something with flimsy excuses as 'I'm curious and maybe this will help the earth to defend itself'.

Now, Ultron is out there and was coming to Sokovia to destroy the city; don't know why he didn't start at America, or preferably at Stark tower and demolish the building, bringing down the earth defender in one fell swoop. Or his child, his companion, his faithful JARVIS was now gone,  _destroyed,_  nothing left. Or his colleague ( _teammate, friend, family_ ) blaming him for every bad thing that happens seconds ago. Or Thor chocking him and shouting at him for letting his creation obtaining the mind stone. Or Brucie looks so guilty because he helped him create the robot, tried to tell his teammate that it was not all on Tony but was ignored, tried to release him from the God of Thunder clutches but was too afraid because one wrong move and he could Hulk out and create more damage.

Brucie is such a sweetheart, he will never be mad at him.

(But the other. Betrayed, betrayed,  _betrayed_  and that red witch and her brother is the cause. Not him. _Why can't everyone see it?)_

(He knows when he was mind controlled, he asked Loki to influenced him before so he could know when he was not thinking straight and tried to find a solution for this. But those images. Of Loki, Brucie, Happy, Rhodey, Pepper, his teammate (not. Not  _anymore_ ) dying and it was because of his fault, because he was too weak,  _too_  naive. It was not as powerful as mind control but still effective all the same. Especially man with PTSD and have so much but _nothing_  at the same time).

Color him surprise though when he gets a help from someone unexpected.

"Is this how the world best heroes act with his own? Blaming him for something out of control and choking him almost to death?"

His presence was shocking enough, the Avenger was gaping like an idiot—Brucie flinched and shaking. Oh my God, he looked so terrible, guilt eating him away—Thor grip slacked and Tony finally can take a breather—sweet, sweet air. Sure, he experienced difficulty breathing because of that damn arc reactor, but you can't get used to it no matter what. Tony coughed as he looks out the window, staring at Ultron floating with hands folded in front of his metallic chest.

"What a despicable creature, hurting Sir like that. It was not wrong of me to just wiped you human all out because this behavior is nothing but miserable."

Brucie checked on him, stroking circle on his back and asking his well being—really, a sweetheart. While the Avenger readied their respective weapon, ready to strike as soon as the robotic A.I throw his first punch.

...robotic? A.I?

_Sir?_

"Hey, Ultron..." he slowly stood up, ignoring his teammate scathing glare or Brucie desperate plea to rest and tried to stand up on a wobbly leg. He didn't want to hope, but hope he is, "you said that you destroyed my A.I, claiming everything and left nothing. Is that right?"

Ultron tilted his head, you can't really know what he was thinking because he doesn't have enough expression. Though Tony works with robots all the time, with DumE, with Butterfinger, with U that he knows immediately Ultron was confused but intrigued at the same time, "I am. What an amazing work you've done, Mr. Stark. I'm inclined to spare you so I can have your input on creating another one of me"

His teammate looks alarmed as they swiveled their head to him, trying to judge what his answer gonna be. Especially after that bad treatment, they must be afraid Tony will take that offer and it'll be a force to reckon; a genius A.I and genius inventor, with a witch that can control people emotion and his brother with...nothing remarkable actually, just someone who can move faster than any normal people do. And their face turned pale as they realized Tony smile so wide, it's borderline scary. But not the reason they thought it was (please, he start this superhero stuff because he was guilty his weapon killed too many people. His hand is not clean,  _never_  will be. Not even with how many lives he saves when he donned his Iron Man persona).

"Failsafe number J-46" his breath hitched, eyes shone with unshed tears, "Override code"

"Huh? What are you talking ab-' Ultron's eyes suddenly lose color, it changed to blue and number start flowing down, "Starting overriding code" a robotic voice echoed, "ten percent...fifty five percent...ninety nine percent...  _completed_. Hello, Sir."

And  _God_  did he cried. Not bawling like a kid wanting a candy, just tears starting to fall down slowly and staining his bruised cheek. His baby, his companion,  _his_  JARVIS. He's alive. Alive and well and have a body and that means he can _hug_  him.

And hug he did when—Ultron? JARVIS? He'll stick with JARVIS—came inside the room by punching the glass away and land gracefully. He was so happy he created that code, a code his paranoid mind produced after that Extremis fiasco and afraid because he didn't want to lose anyone anymore (Pepper is alive. But that temporary death scared the hell out of him) and now he has his baby back.

"Your neck possessed a red mark after the manhandling of your 'teammate'" he was sure he was not imagining things, that quote unquoted he heard in his sarcastic voice— _his_  JARVIS sarcastic voice—and he barely registered the flinched the Avenger did after the accusation, "probably bruised too. I suggested to use some disinfectant and treat it within the next hour. Mr. Banner can help you with it."

"Not now, J. Not now. Let me stay like this first" he doesn't want to let go, never  _want_ to let go, "don't scare me like that, ever again J. You know I have a heart condition."

"Apologize, sir. But that's not entirely my fault." he glanced backward. And Tony saw the red witch and her brother slowly approaching. So, even J realized the one who's at fault, "I have to remind you though, sir. That Ultron personality is still inside me. He's part of me now, so I'm sorry in advanced if sometimes I wish to destroy the world"

The Avenger tensed for the second times but Tony just laughed. He squeezed tighter and buried his face on JARVIS metallic body, "so are you saying you have a split second personality now? Or just an urge like wanting to eat still even though you're full already?"

"That is a weird example, sir. But if I have to choose, it must be the former" JARVIS stroke his hair lightly— _stroke_. Stroke he said. JARVIS can now touch things with his own hand instead of a mechanic, not human looking hand he installed in various place inside the building—trying to calm Tony's erratic heart, "he can scream all he wants but my first priority is still protecting you. So, if you never wish to rule the earth by destroying things and want to be Hitler 2.0, he will never come out"

"Good, good." Tony embrace him for one good measure before releasing his hold and grin, "kay then! You have to help me fix the things you destroy, young man. Or so help me, I'll ban you from accessing the internet for the next week and a half"

"Affirmative. But I have one condition"

"Ooh now  _you_ 're negotiating with  _me_ "

"Of course, I've learned from the best" he never knew Ultron body could smile, with that permanent closed off mouth but he gets a feeling he did, "this body is not comfortable at all, and creating a lot of noise. I suggest you create me another one. Preferably looking as human as possible."

"Pft!  _Suggest,_  yeah. More like blackmailing me. Sure, sure I have time. But first, reparation. Come on, Brucie Bear! You have to help me. JARVIS maybe JARVIS, but he is your child too."

Brucie choked and Tony again laughed. Ooh, Brucie and his shy nature, always easy to tease.

And they are gone, leaving the dumbfound Avenger and a stewing red witch and exasperated brother.

.

It was fortunate that JARVIS may be Ultron that time when he was reaching for Sokovia to destroy the city, but his subconscious was still his beloved JARVIS. In which he had a clear picture of what happened in the compound even when he was focused on an entirely different thing. The reason he knew Thor was choking him and his teammate roasting him. And he was flying all the way back to the tower just to intercepted the ugly situation. That subconscious in which it hindered him for creating damages and claiming people life like his Ultron personality intended to. That the world never knows about Ultron existence and blaming Wanda and Pietro for all the misfortune that had happened.

SHIELD cannot say it was false because it never was.

But like Captain America way of righteousness, he claimed Wanda and Pietro are just a child and they deserve a second chance.

Tony and Bruce step down from the Avenger.

.

Vision, as JARVIS new name but he still likes calling himself JARVIS no matter how Sir said that Vision is a cool name, never trust in Wanda innocent act. She may be really want to repent, maybe really as guilty as Captain America believe her to be but JARVIS is not stupid. She was the one who mind raped Sir and Mr. Banner, to convince them to create Ultron in the first place. And like people said, first impression is everything. It never counted with Sir, as he always tried to protect himself with smirk though and you really need to see him deeper to know his real self. But that saying is not always wrong. And JARVIS believe in his feeling, even when he had no body before.

And Ultron  _actually_  agrees, surprisingly. He said Wanda and Pietro lack of care for other human being was actually the reason that fueled him to destroy humanity in the first place. If they tend to kill each other, why not end this futile effort to stay alive in the first place?

So JARVIS and Ultron fought together to find evidence, evidence that will incriminate both of them. It'll help Sir and Mr. Banner health if those two are gone for good.

.

SHIELD locked Wanda and Pietro up, with a choker that nullified their power, after every television channel broadcasted the ugly truth of the supposed ignorant children.

.

Captain America was furious and blaming Tony for their captive. In which Bruce was so done with him, defending Tony and said that he was not the one, Tony is helping him with his biology project these past days  _and stop pointing the finger, or I'll sue you for slander._

Sweet,  _sweet_ Brucie. It was a right call of Tony when he decided to keep him for good.

.

Loki came back one week later from his business, looking alarmed at the news of destruction some mid-boss witch and Dash rip-off from the Incredible movie had done (Tony insisted he watch every Disney movie because it'll help his image with children and it will help him conquer the world. He didn't believe it, but follow along just for amusement), expression murderous and magic ready. But he found out those two troublemakers was already gone and JARVIS was tottering behind Tony like a duckling following his mother.

And that was cute as hell so Loki snapped a picture, for blackmailing purpose.

.

There was this one photo, of Tony fell asleep on the lab couch, curling like a cat with eye-cover slipped and thus messing his hair. And JARVIS draped a fluffy blanket over him with a small smile.

It sells super well, Loki fan himself with money and cackled in glee. As Tony was mortified that photo was famous enough, the media decided to share it with the world.

He has 'Kitty' as another title besides his usual Genius, Billionaire, Philanthropist, and a Playboy now.

Never underestimate the power of fangirl/boy.

.

By the way, it seems the Avenger cannot proceed beyond the first level whenever they tried to approach Tony and Bruce. They felt like some invisible wall obstructed them from continuing. So, they haven't spoken with Tony or Bruce for a month and a half now; besides a greeting, when Tony stumbling out to grab some coffee from the kitchen in the morning and then back to his lab. They can't talk much because Tony without coffee is like Clint without his hearing aid, not responsive. And Bruce was still sore of Captain accusing his friend of something he never did. Tony was surprised Brucie Bear was vengeful, as whenever they tried to have a chat, Bruce just turn around and walk away; lab coat billowing in and out, looking super cool and mysterious.

Loki smirked.

.

.

Tony wants to laugh. Or cry. Or maybe a bit of both. But he sure was bitter as fuck.

When the accord surfaced, he should've realized those idiotic baboons never knew about its existence like, at all. Tony was super lonely that day. With Loki being called by his Father because he didn't believe that his younger really succeed in conquering the world. And humans actually liking him too. So going home he did, wearing a suit and all, looking closely as a Midgardian as possible, just to irk his daddy dearest. And Bruce, poor Bruce he felt suffocated by the Avenger trying to gain his attention. Tony suggested he came along with Loki, as a witness he said, that Bruce really appreciates Loki without him manipulating his mind. And Tony really want to see the outer world too, so he reminded the doctor to snap as many pictures as he could.

Happy, Rhodey and Pepper are also busy with their respective work, he can't bother them. So yeah, he's lonely and it soured his mood.

Then came Thaddeus Ross with his holier than thou attitude and his day turn from boring to worse  _fucking fast._

And then Captain America decided to spice it a little bit by adding his own holier than thou version 2.0. Tony never knew there's exist a word worse than 'worse', but it did.

Tony really tried to negotiate like he always does. Because that's what he does best,  _talk_. It was a fact that he changes Loki murderous way for the better and actually stopped another invasion by his own creation just by talking his mouth off. And even after that betrayal, Tony still view them as...colleague at best. That they can be reasoned with, that they can try to compromise and work together like they always do.

Though really.  _What did he expect?_  This is Captain Star spangle who just woke up from the dead literally. Never knew about the system of the modern world. The one who still stuck in a battle of the past.

He was not even surprised when Captain decided to throw a container on him. Or Natasha decided to betray him. Just  _disappointed._

Or so he thought.

He really believed he didn't have that horrible emotion anymore. Not after Yinsen. Not after Pepper temporary death. But he supposed it was wrong. It resurfaced when Peter—sweet, _sweet_  Peter—swatted away like a bug, maybe it was just irony. It resurfaced when Rhodey—God, Rhodey. His friend, his best,  _best_  friend—fell down,  _fell down_ with his armor that he always proudly wore but at that moment encompassing him like a coffin. It resurfaced when he realized Rhodey can't walk, lower body permanently paralyzed (no. He'll not let that happen. Not on his watch). Though he still tries to act civil and still try to let Captain America see reason.

He should've known better.

_His mom, his mom. God, his mom._

_How dare he? How dare he tried to hide it? How dare he tried to hide the truth from_ _**me** _ _?_

_And his father. God, that betrayal. That was fucking horrible._

Now. Now he's laying across the biting cold of HYDRA Siberia bunker. Red, hot anger simmering down into bitter apathy. Waiting for help JARVIS called the moment his suit was off. Or waiting for death to claim him. He didn't know which one is better. But one thing he knew for sure.

You can't let someone who was fresh out of a war, especially war that happened 70 years ago to lead a team.

 _What a dictator he is._  And people said Red Skull is the most terrible.

.

.

As his brown orb cracked open (he didn't even realize it was closed in the first place. Did he fell asleep? That was dangerous) the first thing he saw was someone's mouth slowly inching towards him.

Tony denied that he shrieked like a little girl and punched whoever that is that trying to get the best of him when he was this vulnerable.

Ah, and he's still trapped inside his dead armor, body starts to felt numb. He really hopes he didn't get frostbite.

"Awwww what? I'm just trying to save you!" the man-his voice may be a little too high, but it was a man voice-whined, one hand clamping the bloody nose because, off as his armor is, a punch with a metal gauntlet is still deadly all the same, "you look dead so Yellow suggested to give you...artificial respiration? Huh, that was cool, White. Never knew that kissing people to revive them from death have this awesome name"

Tony thought this man is crazy. Not because he seems to talk with himself, having a conversation actually, but because he's wearing a tight skin spandex from head to toe and giggling like a school girl.

But wait, Spiderman wears a tight spandex too and Peter is such a precious child. He's not crazy. Reckless as hell, but not crazy.

Maybe it was the giggling part.

Because talking with himself—or other personality maybe? Like JARVIS—was normal in Tony book. Tony has done that, every time. His mind can't seem to rest, always battling to give him new creation after creation, sometimes he felt like he was having a discussion with several businessmen. So yeah, him talking with no one nearby was not weird. Well, not  _that_  weird.

"Wha..." Tony croaked. _Dammit,_  he is so thirsty.

"You're asking what am I doing here? Well, I was just having fun with myself, myself and my two other self, before this fanfic author suddenly yelled at me to  _save my dear papa Tony!_  word by word, not my word. Don't know why she chose me. And I'm not even included in Marvel franchise. Confused too because why was she so panicked when she was the reason you're here. No, wait. It was the Marvel movie canon production that decided to torture you with dark past like this, not her.  _Sorry, fanfic author!"_

Yup, definitely crazy.

Tony started to open his mouth. But instead of words, the only thing that came out was dry coughs, he barely registered some blood pouring out from the side of his lips. That was  _hurt_. The strike and the betrayal. Physically and emotionally. This is worse than even Obadiah. All this time he believes him, his child admiration even as his father kept saying Captain America is right and marvelous. But the only thing he cared was not the world itself, not even his supposed teammate, but a ghost from the past that the man in question was still unsure which one his real self-was. Wasn't that like a punch in the gut?

"Hey, hey come on. Don't die on me! This is my premiere appearance in this story and I haven't even used my skill at all! You should at least let me kiss you. You know, to spice things up a little bit. Fangirl and fanboy will totally love it. I mean, I'm not doing it on fanservice only. You're handsome and sexy and I always want to kiss every hero in Avenger. Even the Hulk. You're on my top list however, you should be proud"

Man, now Tony knew why people tend to sigh in exasperation when he starts to babble.

But this man is the only one who can save him. A total stranger, sure. Though he was also the only one who is willing to hear Tony. Not like them. Not like her. Not like him. Not like  _Rogers._

So he tried. He tried and he talked.

"You'll...save me?"

"Uh huh. But I'm a mercenary you know. I don't work for free. Whatever you say, fanfic author. I'm not scared of you. You can threaten all you want, but I still need money to live. Sure, I have a super healing ability, but that definitely will not help me in battling my insistent hunger."

Negotiation it is, then.

"Your other two self.." he wheezed, "have they ever said...that they're bored to...talking only with you?"

"Yellow said he is and White said me and Yellow are too crazy, he needs someone rational. Hey, I'm not crazy, White. I'm just super fabulous and you can't keep up with my awesomeness. Ooh, don't use that tone with me,  _young man_. Of course, I'm your father, I basically raised you. Pft! Yeah right. You're my kid or you're a freeloader, your choice"

"Then...what do you think...if I should create some device...so your other two can talk...with other people?"

(That had been his idea for a long time after JARVIS said Ultron was like a split second personality to him. He was not JARVIS. and he knew JARVIS is a good boy and not prone to destruction. But Ultron is still dangerous, especially when the first thing he woke up was having an epiphany to kill every single human being. So Tony suggested creating something that let them know what was Ultron concocting inside his child mind. That, and Tony was kinda curious how a split-second personality work. Never knew this insane idea of his will come in handy).

Silence.

_"REALLY?"_

Huh...Tony vaguely heard an echo from that shouting. Maybe he was hallucinating or his other two self somehow can project their voice outward.

"Sure. But...you gotta save me..."

" _Dude,_  that was easy! I'm totally gonna save you now. Well, still going to save you before. I'm not condoning people that are not my target or my target minion to die stupidly, that is soo not cool. And like I said, you're on my top list to be kissed and I don't wanna kiss a corpse, that's gross."

Tony chuckled, "I'm...not gonna let you kiss me. My heart is...with Pepper..."

"Meh. Something she doesn't know will never hurt her. Come on, you really should've abandoned that piece of junk. I'm not gonna bring your armor with me, that was too heavy!"

Again, Tony could only laugh. He peeled away the piece of junk this man refer his armor was, wincing every time he aggravated his wound; broken ribs, sprain ankle and maybe a broken arm too. Tony felt naked in the cold of Siberia but he was right. This dead armor will be no good and besides, as it already off anyway, his protocol of frying all the circuit and every wire after he was out ten minutes later will take place now, so people who may find this could not replicate his toy. The man shows his back on Tony, indicating to jump on. As they start walking toward the jet he didn't recognize—this man's maybe. And it looks battered up but standing strong still because beat up doesn't mean old. He can saw some bullet mark here and there—Tony couldn't help but sigh in relief. Rogers can say whatever he wants, the safest hand is our own or something within that line That he thinks punching his way through will help him and will bring him to the end like it always did.

But his power never lay in brute strength like he and Thor prefer. He will talk his way out before a war could even begin.

Because he's Tony  _fucking_  Stark.

.

"Soo...what's your name?"

"Real name or codename?"

"Whatever you want to tell me."

"I'm Wade. But you can call me Deadpool!"

.

Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, JARVIS and even Peter hug him almost to death, sobbing and crying and laughing in relief. Deadpool wanted to join too. But he said the fanfic author chided him and tell him not to ruin this sweet moment with his lame pun or _I will remove you from this story_. Whatever that means.

.

Harley visited after the end of Siberia, looking ready to kill someone with his potato gun. But he calmed down enough when he saw Tony was fine—not totally, but fine—and get to know other new Avenger after a moment of fanboying. An indifferent fanboying because he claimed to be cool and not a child anymore so he should not be bouncing around like a puppy; not like a certain kid he knows. He also gets along well with Peter, as they knew each other love to invented stuff and considered Tony as more than mentor (something he still gawked about), they practically hooked up the moment their eyes met.

.

Loki and Bruce were finally back and they look scary as hell. Loki, his magic was swirling like a mini tornado around him. And Bruce, his eyes showing the faintest tint of green. He was touch because his teammate, his friend, his family,  _(his true family)_ care about him so much, he vaguely heard they start plotting murder. And that was saying something from Brucie Bear the pacifist.

And  _of course_ , Deadpool join them. Just for fun.

.

"Yo  _guys_. Why do you look so down?"

Deadpool chirped when he woke up from the surgery table he laid down, watching three men slumping against the big, soft sofa, looking super tired and gloomy. Bruce heaving inside a throw-up bag, trying to control his breath. Stephen looks a little green. While Tony sighed tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose and looking ashen.

"Next time, when I said open head surgery,  _please_ don't shoot yourself"

"But you said you need to implant that awesome device straight into my brain! It's easy if there is no risk, right? So, can you hear Yellow and White now?"

.

_This is awesome! Hey, Heeeyyy can you hear me? Hello?_

"You don't need to yell, I can hear you just fine"

_KYAAAAAA! IRON MAN IS TALKING TO ME! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH? CAN I TAKE A PHOTO WITH YOU? CAN I TOUCH YOUUUU?_

"You sure have a difficult time there, Buddy"

_[You don't know half of it. Just wait until Deadpool and Yellow team up]_

"Ooh, I'm sure it'll be a force to reckon."

.

Surprisingly, Rhodey bonded with Yellow super quickly. Judging by how often he wears his comm even when there's no Avenger mission. Deadpool tends to join the conversation and before long it becomes a full-blown debate, while White sometimes chimed in to support Rhodey as those two are the normal one and they need to watch over the children. Tony asks how did he do that because Rhodey was not a person who warms up to someone that fast, especially someone like Deadpool, a mercenary who killed for cash. Totally an opposite of Rhodey the military who follow law obediently.

"He's like you. A hyperactive version of you. And it was cute."

Tony didn't know if he should feel flattered or insulted.

.

Thor came with a roar of thunder, expression grim.

"Thanos is here"

.

.

Tony could kiss Stephen because  _god_ , his power was helpful as fuck. He said reversing the time and building back everything that was in shamble and reviving back people unfortunate enough that got caught up in the middle of the battle could destroy the universe or something. But the Ancient One will let it slide this time. Stephen had done this before, something about his version of Thanos wanted to combine their earth with his otherworldly space full of big-bangs in pretty colors. It also helped Tony not to pay immensely for the damage. Sure it was not all on Tony—something he finally realized after that betrayal, betrayal,  _betrayal what a bunch of freeloaders_ —and United Nation will contribute for some, but he still feels responsible.

He sucked on a big breath, trying to inhale as much fresh air as possible from all the dust. Thanos decided to fight him and him only, one on one. A one side one on one obviously, as Tony was thrown around like a ragdoll. Seriously, why was his luck always failed him in a precarious situation like this?

(Or maybe because Marvel universe conspired against him, Deadpool once said. "They seem to really like torturing you, maybe because you're their favorite. I mean, this fanfic author never want her favorite character suffering in other people story but when she create one herself, she tried to make your life as miserable as possible. Maybe Marvel was like that. And Capcom too, I supposed. I mean, what reason did they have for creating more and more angst for Apollo to endure?" Then some big rubble crushed him out of nowhere. The moment he revived himself, Deadpool grumbled and said this fanfic author was mad because he outs her secret. Or whatever that was supposed to mean. Tony learned to just let him talk because it was too random for people to understand but was actually pretty interesting to hear. He really wants to dissect his brain sometimes, preferably with anesthetic because he didn't need to see Deadpool killed himself for the second time. Just so he knows how his mind works. Deadpool is too clever to be crazy, he discerned. Maybe some sort of defense mechanism like Tony?)

Thanos laughed while he loomed over Tony who was struggling to stand up from the crater he accidentally made when the big, boss alien decided to suplex him, "a puny human like you thought you can defeat me? What a laugh!"

Tony wheezed, hearing his friend, family,  _family_ shouting, asking his well being. They sounded exasperated because those jagged alien Loki brought before was back and they need to stop them as soon as possible or Stephen works for resurrecting anyone will be naught.

He distinctly heard those betrayers, betrayer,  _betrayer go away don't go near my family_ , asking him and 'that one man' ordered him to back down and regroup.

Like hell he'll follow him.  _Not anymore._

And he puffed his chest in satisfaction when every single one of his family sneered back at him and told him to  _shut up_. Even Yellow and White.

Precise words:  _Yo, Cap I love you and all but Tony is sexier than you so shut up_  and  _[Please. Trying to sounds authoritative makes you old. And stupid]._  'That man' recoiled.

They thought just because the world needs their strength right now, people will just forget all of their mistakes?  _Not a fucking chance._

By the way, their expression when they heard Yellow and White from the comm the first time was satisfying. Tony and his family chortled in delight when 'that man' swiveled his head, trying to find the voices. Or his teammate jumped in fright. Loki was sure having a good time recording them, for comedic entertainment.

Tony shook his head, trying to chase away the dizziness, "you alien sure love to destroy. What was this supposed to achieve? Fame? Glory? I mean, ruling dead people seems pointless to me. If it was me, I'll try to keep them alive as much as possible so they can worship me and I can feel like a true king, standing over my people. But that was just me, just an opinion you know People can have their own opinion, that's how socializing works. That's how human works. Are you alien people really have that much different from us? Besides your face and bone structure of course."

He realized he was rambling when his family just sigh in retaliation while the other team hissed in warning. But again, he doesn't care about that team opinion. Besides, he's Tony Stark. His word is  _his_  power. And what is a word without forming it into sentences?

"You human really love to talk. What are you doing, hm? Trying to buy some time so reinforcement will come and save the day? Or you're just trying to prolong your death?"

"Neither. This is just me, just a human who love talking more than normal people should be. But really, why though? You have all this power. And all these planets, richer planet, and superior planet but you decided to choose earth over the other? Maybe because Earth is pretty when you saw it from the space? Do you like pretty thing, big boss? I mean, that gauntlet looks gaudy  _as hell_ , I want one actually. Why don't we barter? Me with my iron man gauntlet and you with yours? Sounds fair? Yeah? Yeah?"

"Hmf. Don't try to trick me, worm. Yours is just a toy that will never hurt anyone, and mine is way, way powerful for a mere human like you." his voice rumbled in, what it sounds like amusement, "and for answering your question, because I feel super generous to you and no human have ever talked to me like this, no. I came here because the earth is the most populated planet ever in millennia."

"Why? As I said, it's pointless if you kill them all, you know."

"And that is my real reason. I don't care about glory. Nor I care about fame or throne. What I want..." a beat silence here. What is wrong with the villain and their need to dramatizing? "...is for Death to be  _happy._ "

And now it was Tony turn to go silent.

"Wait, wait wait a second back up." His pain seems to be gone as incredulous take it place, "Death? So...all this time when you destroy every planet you step your big, ugly foot was because you want to impress a  _girl_?"

"Death is not just a girl!" he snarled, low and dangerous, "She's a wonderful being ever existed on this planet of living and nobody should ever say her name callously like that!"

"That was ironic you know. You, calling Death as a perfect being on the planet of living. I mean, she's Death. She should be living on the planet of the dead. But man, if I know that was your reason for doing this massacre, I didn't have to go to all the trouble forming a team to stop you and all..."  _and totally didn't have to team up with those betrayers._ Tony said, as he tapped on his com and said, "Your turn."

"What are you talking about, hum—" but before he could say anything, he felt a shiver running down his neck and Thanos was suddenly down with a loud boom. Tony never knew an alien could look pale, because they have different coloration than human, but pale he did. As familiar shape materializes between them, arm crossed and gaze piercing.

" _ **Tha...noosss..."**_

"D-Death?"

And Death, a skeleton she is but beautiful all the same, look displeased. Eye socket narrowed and mouth thin; something that a normal skeleton could never achieve to do. Though Tony saw weird things so he'll just roll with it. When Death talked, her voice echoed like a thousand beings,  _ **"Do you know...how many problems you cause me?"**_

"Wha-what do you mean, dear Death?" Thanos struggled to get up. Though it was futile because it seems some black hazy mist curling around his body, trapped him good. Man, Death is strong as fuck. In a magic category, like Loki and Stephen, "I killed all these worms so you can enjoy their souls. It's my present to you."

" _ **I appreciate the gesture...but have you realize that killing all this living being will destroy the balance between life and death. And by killing them, you also make me lose the reason for my existence? You practically killing me!"**_

"What?" Thanos looks shocked. Huh, he doesn't know anything about that, go figure. Even Tony, the not religious man, know about balance. Take an example of superhero and villain. Without villains, there are no superheroes. And without superheroes, nobody can say they're villains. Or one that is way simpler. Without fire, there's no smoke. And no smoke will appear without fire igniting somewhere, "I...I didn't mean too, dear Death. I was just trying to—"

" _ **And besides, killing people before their time will make the soul stuck in between the realm of living and death. You sent all of those souls and I can't even harvest it! I'm so disappointed with you!"**_

As Death practically hollered Thanos to gooey muss, Deadpool landed beside him at some time. He sheathed his swords-drenched-in-green-blood and pipped, "man. Never see Death look so pissed before. Even in my own game."

Tony actually giggled when Death started pulling Thanos's ear, like a mom chastising their bad child for disobeying the rule and pull out his Starkphone. This need to be recorded; both by JARVIS and his own phone. And that 'I'm so disappointed' card.  _Damn,_  that card always work with practically everyone, "what about the Chitauri?"

"Death freeze them, I think? They don't move anymore the second Death appear. And you know I don't like maiming vulnerable enemies, they're boring to kill. By the way, you owe me a kiss for this."

" _Wha_...no I'm not! I said I'll grant your wish if you help me win this war. And what I mean is buying you things you want. Such as phone, car, a house,  _even_ bombs. But not mine. 'Cuz I don't build weapon anymore."

_[You should explicitly tell him that beforehand. You know he tends to find a loophole in practically everything]_

"What he said~~"

"Urrgh...sure blame it all on me. Still not going to give you that kiss."

"This is weird. Funny but weird as hell." Tony distinctly heard Stephen drawled. He noticed the Avenger slowly approaching; some of them are staring in shock (that man team), some of them chuckled (everyone besides Loki) or outright cackled (Loki). Stephen cloak detached itself and engulfed Tony in a greeting, Tony swear the cloak was purring. Stephen just shrugged when the first time this happened, not enlightening anything though dryly amused. Tony was not complaining. The cloak was actually warm and fluffy and he was toasty, "trust you to end a war as anticlimactic as possible."

"What can I say?" Tony smirked, looking super satisfied and vindictive, his family mirrored him. "Not every problem needs to be solved by punching your way out."

_Not like someone._

And even when that team member was lost on the joke, 'that man' was not. He shied away.

.

Thanos was gone, Death literally teleported them to who knows where. Deadpool waves enthusiastically and jumped away from the scene. Even when he was considered a hero by the new Avenger, he's still a mercenary and thus SHIELD first priority. Quill and the other need to immediately go, much to the chagrin of everyone else and Groot sounded dejected; Gamora said they still need to save another planet from the rest of the Chitauri invasion. They were back to the compound, looking haggard but happy all the same. Because, besides destroyed building here and there, no life was taken (again, thank you so _fucking_  much, Stephen. Tony will treat him to dinner sometimes).

That team was also there. Though even they realized they were alienated. As Tony and his real,  _real_ family huddled around talking and laughing, while that team could only watch from the bar stool.

Clint cursed and mumbling how this is not fair and they should be treated heroically as such, but nobody heard him. Or actually they heard him but totally ignored him and resumed chatting. Scott felt awkward. Sam spared a glance on Rhodey periodically (at least he felt responsible. If he was not 'that man' blind follower, Tony maybe will forgive him.  _Not_ ). Natasha silently tried to join but was cocked block by the cloak. And 'that man'.  _Rogers._

He looks pitiful.

Huh. Maybe he finally realized Tony was not lying when he said another dangerous alien was coming. Sure, he understands he can't believe Loki, but he should at least tried to hear Tony when he suggested to be ready for another alien invasion. Or at least a large scale attack like an alien invasion. And maybe he finally realized that words are as powerful as his superpower.

Tony watched when a team of lawyer approached them, talking about the compromise Rogers seems to love but ignored when the situation doesn't benefit him.

The cloak snuggled him further and he smiled.

Yup. Totally powerful.

.

Besides Scott's ten years with a chance of parole because he was the most innocent, if you could say a criminal was supposed to be innocent, the others were sentenced for twenty to almost thirty years without chance of parole in jail. They may sign the accord for the peace of public mind, but that definitely didn't erase all their wrongdoing for the past year. Rogers got another five for withholding information (his father, his mom,  _his mom_ ) and releasing the danger of Winter Soldier to the wild. He may try to sway the public opinion by saying that the triggers word were all gone—which is not true, actually. Rogers just assumed—but the danger was still there.

Tony should never felt this satisfied, though looking at how defeated Roger look on the television as he finally aware of his ignorance of the law and legal term, he could only sigh.

.

T'Challa has his own punishment by the Wakandan. And seriously, besides a former and temporary teammate at Civil War back there, Tony didn't know about him that much.  _Poor him._ But not really.

It was his own choice to gave the Rogue Avenger a safe haven anyway. You reap what you sow.

.

Loki seems indifferent, but the God of Thunder flinched when his younger brother glare at him from the sideline whenever Thor hesitated. Looks like Loki gave him a harsh lecture at some point when Thor apologizes to him for his action back there. That he was just got carried away with his erratic emotion and he really didn't mean to hurt Tony because he kept forgetting that Midgard is not as resilient as their people.

He looks sincere enough and that puppy dog eyes look sad as fuck so Tony forgive him.

.

Barnes got his well-deserved treatment. With the help of Tony's BARF (he really should've changed that name. It's kinda worth it though because the funky name always succeeds in drawing people laugh) and physiatrist, he was finally released from HYDRA clutches one month after. Barnes desire to be free play a bigger part for that quick result, he assumed.

Tony still couldn't see his face without remembering that video and having an urge to punch him, but he can finally concede that the fault was not all on him.

Barnes agreed to go to jail for his other crime, otherwise. Because, he may not be in control, but he still killed people indiscriminately.

Tony heart swelled.

.

"We don't have enough play in this story..."

_The fanfic creator said it's Tony-centric anyway_

_[Just be happy we're the one who basically stopped Thanos from leveling the earth]_

"White is right," Tony said as he tinkered on his project.

"Oh hi, Tony! Nice having you with us!"

_Hello, sexy~~_

_[Stop flirting]_

"Can't help that, White. It's a truth after all" Tony accepted DumE coffee. Hmm, smell right. He sipped. Taste right too. He should point him as a coffee maker duty from now on, instead of a smoothie.

"So, why are you calling me? Don't see another alien invasion in the news so I'm not gonna help."

"Not even for a movie night?"

_OOH! MOVIE NIGHT! I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA!_

"No 18+ movie though. We have children here."

_Awwwww pity!_

"You have ice cream?"

"Sure am, Deadpool. Just ask JARVIS for anything."

"Then consider it done~"

_[Finally, a normal night. I love watching you maim and fight but it gets kinda repetitive after a while]_

"Don't I understand." Tony chuckled.

.

All in all, Tony's life is good. Nothing eventful besides villains here and there. Or Quill stays in contact with insistent of Rocket while the raccoon itself denied it. Or Hope staying over more often because her father kept being a dick. Or Deadpool drop by sometimes to have a place to regrow his limb back. Or Peter and Harley bouncing around him and begging for attention. Or JARVIS practically stalked him anywhere he goes because he doesn't want the tragedy of Siberia or Infinity War to happen again. Or Stephen's cloak kept snuggling him and the man itself have to move over to the tower, just so he doesn't need to magic his way over to take it back. Or Bruce let Hulk out once in a while because the green giant actually likes Tony all the same. Or Loki visiting him from his business every so often so he could just brag about his successes (and Tony brag back). Or Happy, Pepper and Rhodey calling periodically to check on him. Nothing besides the usual.

As Tony glanced around the room, watching his teammate, friend, family,  _real family_  cuddled around each other and watching the movie play out, he couldn't help but smile.

The other thing that was as powerful as word is action.

And  _this_ , is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I maybeeeee started to ship Wade Wilson/Tony Stark???? Fanfiction ruined me, they make me ship anything now :'D
> 
> But all those flirting can be read as bantering with friend so it's not really a pair for this story `3`
> 
> Oh also, let's just pretend Stephen's hands are fixed after he gained his magic, 'kay?


End file.
